Well-behaved women never succeed.
Just caught an episode of Oprah featuring Maria Shriver (she's Arnie's wife). My favourite bit of the show was when she said "well behaved women never succeed." Well said!! If she's right, I'll be successful and, hopefully, rich and influential when I'm 30? That's 5 years away.
As a Goddess, I don't see myself bound by the constraints of this society, or of my race. But I'm wondering how many seemingly liberated Indian women in Singapore find themselves unwillingly constrained by the rules our race imposes on us.
So many of us seem domesticated and unwilling to challenge the ideals imposed on us. Many times, I've heard many of my indian female acquaintances questioning something I said, did or thought. The point of reference is always, your father would never agree to that. Yes, he wouldn't. If he did, he'd have done it. The point is, I'm doing it, its what I want to do and I''ll be the only one that will reap whatever the results of my act, thought or words.
Some of these acquiantances are seemingly liberated women. I say seemingly, because they still perceive themselves as obligated to play by the rules of the Indian community in Singapore. Many have great careers, good education and even have a gutsy attitude. But not a single one of them has ever looked at the ideals imposed on them and tried to break out of it or question the source of these ideals.
Of course, there is always advice to be had from the older generations. But that is all it is; Advice. We have the option to listen to it and take heed or take a different route. It does not mean we disrespect our elders. It just means on that point we disagree. Its amazing how our elders expect us to take their words as the final decision on any and all matters. Its more amazing how many Indian women are willing to accept such advice as the final decision and feel obligated to follow.
Then there are Indian men who think they rule the lives of Indian women. For some reason, most Indian men in Singapore think they know much more than the average Indian women. The audacity of some of these men. Take yours truly. I know I'm smarter than most of the Indian men I know. And yet, 99% of these men try to explain things to me and attempt to impose their "superior intellect" on me. Please, I'm not an idiot. And for heaven's sake, if you want to show off how smart you are, make sure you know what you're talking about. Don't try to explain the basics of something that I know more about than you.
What makes the situation even worse is those Indian women who call themselves liberated, but then say, yes I am acting against the cultural norm. Why, why on god's green earth, would you want to identify yourself as a rebel? You acknowledge there is a cultural norm that you should follow. That doesn't show liberation. It just shows a woman with no clear sense of identity.
Indian women in Singapore should identify their own values, their own goals, their own ideals.
Its a worrying trend. And the only way out is for us to live by the rules that we create. Men are our playthings, they need us, and when we change the rules, they will follow.
As a Goddess, I don't see myself bound by the constraints of this society, or of my race. But I'm wondering how many seemingly liberated Indian women in Singapore find themselves unwillingly constrained by the rules our race imposes on us.
So many of us seem domesticated and unwilling to challenge the ideals imposed on us. Many times, I've heard many of my indian female acquaintances questioning something I said, did or thought. The point of reference is always, your father would never agree to that. Yes, he wouldn't. If he did, he'd have done it. The point is, I'm doing it, its what I want to do and I''ll be the only one that will reap whatever the results of my act, thought or words.
Some of these acquiantances are seemingly liberated women. I say seemingly, because they still perceive themselves as obligated to play by the rules of the Indian community in Singapore. Many have great careers, good education and even have a gutsy attitude. But not a single one of them has ever looked at the ideals imposed on them and tried to break out of it or question the source of these ideals.
Of course, there is always advice to be had from the older generations. But that is all it is; Advice. We have the option to listen to it and take heed or take a different route. It does not mean we disrespect our elders. It just means on that point we disagree. Its amazing how our elders expect us to take their words as the final decision on any and all matters. Its more amazing how many Indian women are willing to accept such advice as the final decision and feel obligated to follow.
Then there are Indian men who think they rule the lives of Indian women. For some reason, most Indian men in Singapore think they know much more than the average Indian women. The audacity of some of these men. Take yours truly. I know I'm smarter than most of the Indian men I know. And yet, 99% of these men try to explain things to me and attempt to impose their "superior intellect" on me. Please, I'm not an idiot. And for heaven's sake, if you want to show off how smart you are, make sure you know what you're talking about. Don't try to explain the basics of something that I know more about than you.
What makes the situation even worse is those Indian women who call themselves liberated, but then say, yes I am acting against the cultural norm. Why, why on god's green earth, would you want to identify yourself as a rebel? You acknowledge there is a cultural norm that you should follow. That doesn't show liberation. It just shows a woman with no clear sense of identity.
Indian women in Singapore should identify their own values, their own goals, their own ideals.
Its a worrying trend. And the only way out is for us to live by the rules that we create. Men are our playthings, they need us, and when we change the rules, they will follow.
posted by goddess at 9:05 pm
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