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Long time coming....

Hey!

its been a while. Got inspired by a dear friend (read: China-Man) who blogged about your truly.

Yes, a welcome and pleasant depart from the usual ranting and ravings no? Nothing to rant or rave about. I'm as happy as can be, cept that there sooooo much work to do and so little time to do it in. I've been trying for the past 4 hours to work but .... wellll....

My dear sweet boyfriend, whom I've been bugging the entire day, has finally settled down to his work and is happily reading away. Spent the entire afternoon with him yesterday, which is great considering our very clashing schedules. Knowing there is someone so patient and so kind and so loving, always ready on the phone when i call, its a great feeling. I feel bad sometimes for not being as patient with him, but hey, if he loves me, he'll take it!

On another front, my dear friend has taken my cue and called me along for his birthday party at the end of the month. How exciting. I love love when people get older alongside me. Yep, just had my birthday. I'm closer to 30... still single.. still not married...... no ranting, no raving.... stop..stop...

Ok, so good thing, lawyers getting paid the highest. Yep, i'm supposed to be rich.. work like a dog, no time to spend money, but better than being poor and windowshopping right? that would be hell for me! hell I tell you.!

Right, lets keep it short and ease back into blogging. disparate thoughts today, but coming up, the man who's making a goddess' dreams come true and the big party at new asia bar.... stay tuned folks!

A goddess' shining light...

Sigh, sigh sigh.....

For all my complaining, despite all my problems and dark days, I keep finding my shining light always there waiting for me, ready to give me his shoulder, his arms, his listening ear, his advice... Always there, always ready.

I don't know what I did to deserve this... And for once, I'm glad I did whatever it is I did. I'm not taking this for granted.

He's amazing in so many ways. He's told me things that noone else would tell me, stuff that so many people should have told, but no one has.... What touched me was how he said it and what provoked him to say it. I may be wrong, but he was looking into the future and trying to tell me what would make that future happen. That he was thinking that far ahead surprised me.

And it took time, but I could finally understand why he's afraid of getting married. He didn't say it, but a part of me wonders if he's trying to tell me something. He wants to be sure, and I don't blame him... I'm afraid of getting married for the same reasons...

What scares me.. I can so easily imagine myself growing old with him. He's so caring so loving, so sweet... perfect in so many ways. Oh, he has his flaws.... As do I... I can live with his though I do sometimes get a lil irate. And he lives with mine....

Growing old with him... as easily as I can stay young with him.

I wonder if he's reading this.. If he is, then he should know he makes me feel safe and content and I could not ask for anything more. I've not felt love the way I feel it from him. I hope it stays this way for a long time more.

Aint it fun.....

If you bought Spaghetti Incident, you'd know what I'm talking about.

Isnt it also so strange that when you're moody, you want the entire world to know about it. But when you're happy, you're so content to just sit in your little space in the world and smile at everything and everyone?

It troubles me to know that there are people that can never be moody, that never break. That there are swines out there, who grumble about their jobs, their families, their income, that they're to poor, that they don't have a big house, etc, etc and so forth. Did you know that the happiest people on earth are from the poorest nation on earth?

I've got a cushy job (that takes me away from everything, even myself), a huge paycheck (that gives me more worry than ever), a close knit family (that's so close it feels I'm being strangled), a fantastic boyfriend (that I'm wary of being my problems to), a great boss (who demands so much so fast, I feel I'm drowing).....

Yes, so you say, why am I not happy.... highlight that last paragraph with your mouse and read it again.

Don't fool yourself ... not all smart, rich, spoilt kids are happy.... not a single one of us are...

I'm tired of trying to feed everyone's fancies and making everyone see what I'm not. I've given up. I'm neither pretty, nor smart, nor a good girlfriend, nor a good daughter, nor a good sister. I'm not even a good person. My place on this earth has gotten smaller, my time's shorter.

I can't stand that swine that said he's only getting paid 2 .5 k a month. Here, I get 4k. Take it... I'm looking for a job that pays less but makes me happier... I'm working all day and all night in a job that I can't stand... You're welcome to take that too. Ohh yeah, I've also got ferragamo shoes, planning to get a pair ofJimmy Choos... would you like those too? Oh and, yeah I forgot, I was planning to save up and buy the new mazda MX-5. Yeah, you're thinking, well at least you can really think of that. Well, you can too, what with my 4,ooo a month pay check. Take it, its your dream right... Take it...Just leave me enough to buy my liquid poison, my Jack, Johnny and Jim. You take the rest....and leave me alone.....

I'll be happy in a one bedroom flat, with a loving boyfriend (note I did not offer him away). No kids, no noise, no stress...

\

3 months... counting....

Its been a long long time! Something I read off Karen's blog sparked some thoughts in my head that I needed to get out. Ironically, it related to a couple of loss ends that were finally tied up in the best way... what is it that I read? This:

"I've met a man and fallen in love with him. I allowed myself to fall in
love for one simple reason; I'm not expecting anything to come of it. I know that, in three months' time, i'll be far away and he'll be just a memory, but i couldn't stand living without love any longer; i've reached my limit."

So, why has this affected me so? I'll tell you....

Today's the 15th of May 2006. A year ago on this day, I'd never have thought that I'd find the happiness that I now have.

In July of 2005, I met a guy. Karen was there too.. and she thought he was being an ass... We exchanged numbers and that night, we exchanged smses til 6am. We were smsing when the sun came up. We arranged to meet that evening and fell asleep.

It was the most comfortable "first date" I've had in a long time. He was sweet, charming, sexy and funny. We both accepted that we'd likely no make it til Deepavali, even as we were talking about our plans for that day (don't ask why).

Deepavali came, he spent it with his family... That was the first time that we didn't go out for a week since we started dating.. We agreed we won't make it til the end of the year.

New Year's Eve came, he went back to spend it with his family... But he called... we were still dating.

It's now 2 months shy of a year since we started dating. Again, neither of us expect to reach the first year mark.

The funniest thing is that we truly, and sincerely don't expect to reach these "landmark points".

We do enjoy each other so much. Our time together is always blissful. Yet, I still don't expect anything to come out of it.

I dont know what's the point of this post, save that we never know what we'll have in three months time.

Moodiness.. and the man who took it all....

I don't know what it is, but i've been an bitch the past two weeks. I've been extremely moody and my boyfriend seems to have borne the brunt of it. And he's done so without complaining even once.

Where did I find such an angel? He's told me that he feels like the luckiest guy on earth to have me. When he told me that, I just smiled. But now I know how he feels. With all the dark clouds around me, he's been one of the bright shining stars lighting up my life. I'm counting my blessings every day. Every day, he brings a smile to my face.

He's not perfect, but he's mine. And I'm thankful for that. Our relationship is not perfect, but its a refuge from all the stress of my life.

He's amazing and I could not ask for more. Every wish has been answered, every dream has come true.

My boyfriend needs to know that I appreciate him so much, despite the shit I've been putting him thru. And when I tried to tell him that, he said the sweetest thing. He just said, " I understand, its ok." He even volunteered to shoulder some of the blame for not being loving or attentive enough.

Girls, tell me, where would I find another man who is as sweet, as caring, as loving, as kind and as sexy as my boyfriend.

I'm truly blessed...

Maybe six feet really is not that far down....

1. A boyfriend that isn't all that bothered;
2. A good friend with a possesive girlfriend;
3. A job with no certainty;
4. A bank acount with more dust than money;
5. A heart scarred;

How far down is 6 feet? From where I'm standing, it isn't that far down. It's probably a lot better than where I am right now.

What would make me happy?

1. My good friend being happy again.
2. My boyfriend using his best efforts, always, to make me happy.
3. A job with a cushy pay.
4. A fire red ferrari mondeo, license plate, GDS-01
5. A BMW Z4 in black, license plate, GDS-02
6. An eternity in your arms.

If you can tell me how to get even one of those things, leave a comment. I want to know.