affections, afflictions and the Goddess's booboo

Yesterday, on the bus back home, i saw this young couple get on the bus... they weren't good looking, but they suited each other. Not that ugly people should date other like-looking people.

Ok, the point is... The man placed his arm around his wife and tried to hold her closer. But all she was interested in was this old worn out book that she'd been reading. I felt really really bad for the man, especially when she pushed his arm away so that she could continue reading...

I'd never ever do that. I'd love to have my man's arm around me, knowing he wants to hold me... but then, I also realise how little I've taken for myself. I give my affections too easily. I fall in love too easily. That's why my heart gets broken so many times.

If I'm so afraid to get hurt, why do I so easily give others the chance to hurt me? I highly doubt that its my belief in the intrinsic goodness of man.

I should treasure my heart more, treasure my feelings more. Each time my heart breaks, it seems harder to mend. And each time my heart breaks, there are less tears. That's not a good sign. It shows that I care even less than the last time.

Strangely, I've never told any guy I loved him. I just let myself fall. I must be really silly to do that.

To be honest, I feel like a whore that prostitutes her heart out to men, only to have it trampled on. There's nothing worse.