Men: big, small, hunky, nerdy, tall and sexy

Finally, a topic close to my.... hmmm, well, we're talking about men today.

Well, yes, we've always been talking about men, one in particular, but today.... TODAY we talk about MEN. The entire, oogling, hairy chested, beer totting lot... yes, that excludes the mafedeks and the like...

First, let me add a disclaimer: This is NOT a anti anything post. I'm only including straight men because, well... they're the only kind that rock my boat... well, some of them...

OK, read the newspaper on Sunday. Maybe I'm a bit out of all the new English words coming up lately... apparently there is more to a man than hairy chests, cologne, stubble and.. sigh, everything else that I like. Hmmm, my ideal plaything, go ahead, oogle ladies!

Ok, yes, more to a man... apparently, there are metrosexuals, retrosexuals, studs, SNAGs and whatever hell else there is. What utter and absolute rubbish. There are only two kinds of men.

First, gays. They're sister-kin cos here's a guy that can bitch as well as, maybe even better, than I can. Plus he picks up the tab, dresses well and lo and behold, he has a brain... UP there! I love my guy friends who are gay. They're a ball of fun (no pun intended!!!) While I'd never want to see their PDAs with their darlings, I'd drop a hot date to hang out with them anyday!

Second, hunky, beard growing men. A man must be able to grow a beard. Manjans... what can I say... hmm, i'll shut up here. But if you know me well, you know why I don't even consider dating one. I mean come on! Everything on the guy turns pink when blood rushes there... enough said!! How can a guy naturally be pink?!!

Ok, back to the issue.... these are real men!! yummy... delicious. I can't describe them, but they use great cologne; none of that flowery smelling crap. I mean, Dunhill, Aramis (Havana, esp) and the like. They dress well and they DO NOT indulge in girly stuff like the metrosexuals. Nor are they SNAGS (*I vomit blood*). Neither are they uncultured. They have impeccable manners, are gentlemen, but ahem, not when need be. Well, at least that's the perfect man.

Where, where can I find perfection? I have yet to come across it here on earth. Maybe in Heaven. Maybe in my dreams. I want to clone of th... heck! I want a clone of each of the men here. That's four altogether. Plenty of love to go around!

Examples....




Let one of these invade my bedroom tonight....at the very least, my dreams!!!

What can I say, I'm a traditional, conventional Goddess. I need a strong man, with a brain. Sadly, sadly, I don't think he exists, cos I can't seem to find the right guy who'd look good in a white shirt, unbuttoned at the collar, jacket slung over his shoulder, smelling of Aramis' Havana. Where oh where can my little (???) toy be, where oh where can he be.....