Stirrings....fear....
Alas! Is the Goddess allowing another to enter thru the tiny door into her heavily guarded heart? No, not falling in love. But maybe, just maybe, this Goddess is starting to like again.
Is it even possible that the stirrings of liking someone are starting again? Remember the hurt I felt the last time I liked someone? No, I didn't forget; the pain, the anguish, the heartbreak, the betrayal. I couldn't understand what I did wrong.
And yet, here I am, playing that dangerous game again. And I'm so scared. I'm afraid I'll do something wrong. I'm scared that just as I start liking him, he will turn around and walk away and leave me hurt again.
I know it won't last very long. Its one of those kinds of things. The ones where we'd go out regularly and enjoy each other's company, but at the end of the day, we know its not going to go anywhere further than that.
Am I going to be able to trust again? Or face the possibility that I might be hurt? I know at some point, I'll get hurt. And I know I'll cry. But at the moment, I'm happy.
I just have to be really careful. I have to shield my heart and not let him get too close to it, or me. I have to make sure I don't fall too far that I can't pick myself up quickly. I'm too scared to take too much of a risk. And I know its not going to be fair to him.
What should I do?
Is it even possible that the stirrings of liking someone are starting again? Remember the hurt I felt the last time I liked someone? No, I didn't forget; the pain, the anguish, the heartbreak, the betrayal. I couldn't understand what I did wrong.
And yet, here I am, playing that dangerous game again. And I'm so scared. I'm afraid I'll do something wrong. I'm scared that just as I start liking him, he will turn around and walk away and leave me hurt again.
I know it won't last very long. Its one of those kinds of things. The ones where we'd go out regularly and enjoy each other's company, but at the end of the day, we know its not going to go anywhere further than that.
Am I going to be able to trust again? Or face the possibility that I might be hurt? I know at some point, I'll get hurt. And I know I'll cry. But at the moment, I'm happy.
I just have to be really careful. I have to shield my heart and not let him get too close to it, or me. I have to make sure I don't fall too far that I can't pick myself up quickly. I'm too scared to take too much of a risk. And I know its not going to be fair to him.
What should I do?
posted by goddess at 12:54 am
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